blog,
Will love ever be ahead of me?
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
This blog has never been related to my personal issues.
but this time i wanna tell everyone.
Whoever says that what i did is wrong.
Whoever says what i did was wrong.
I just don't understand.
My religious friends want me to end it with him.
My school friends asked me to go on.
But i'm actually listening to neither of them.
I don't understand what is my heart saying.
People say, don't listen to what people tell you.
Don't listen to what your mind says.
But listen to what your heart says.
But what if my heart is confused.
My heart can't do anything either.
It keeps me only alive.
And that is thanks to god.
I can't really decide is life meant to be with him.
Or meant not to be with him.
I never really loved anyone this way.
But what if life brings that i won't end up with him.
Carrying on with life is not that easy.
esp, with someone else.
But i can't possibly let him go?
I loved him more than anything.
And i knew he loved me too.
And suddenly you think that what if your parents knew.
How disappointing would it be.
How hurt would my mom be?
for having so much trust in me, but betraying her trust.
What i was doing, was right?
Or is it that the hope i had?
i don't get it.
People say, "eeeewww! That guy? not nice la"
This phrase, whoever says, you've got no rights to say it.
If you think he doesn't looks nice, i don't care.
I think he looks good according to me.
But rather looking at his face.
Look at his heart.
You don't know what kind of character he has.
I look for a person who my parents would like.
And person i would like, and would get along with me.
And he is qualified for every of those.
And left to decide, is god.
Whether he's the one.
Or not.
So i end the relationship with him,
praying every night and morning, that i want him in my life.
That even now i still love him.
And there is not even one day that i never think about him.
For those who are making me happy every time.
i really thank you people.
Love does give you happiness.
But only 1/3 of it.
The other two is family and friends.
Well, a little letter to the guy i loved from the bottom of my heart.Dear love,
I'm sorry that i had to end what we had together.
I wish you knew what i was doing.
I definitely think you knew, cause you agreed, for what i asked.
I still think we can make it through.
But only if you keep holding on.
I'm ready to wait.
Every prayers of mine, involves you.
I don't know whether you still love me or what.
Or the thoughts of me are still there.
I heard so much about you.
On what kind of guy are you, but i knew more.
And i still didn't care.
I knew how much you loved me.
And i hope that love will still be there.
I still have my trust on you.
There's never a day, i have not think about you.
Wherever i am, you're in my mind, heart and soul.
This is not any other nonsense sweet talks.
I ain't that kinda girl.
This is all from what was in my heart.
What i always wanted to tell you.
People came to me asking me, whether you really love me.
I would always say that you're sincere and you would never be like any other guy.
I don't want that hope to get lose.
And if you had already found someone else.
I think it's better if you could carry on however you want.
I think that's all from me.
Take care of yourself.
My prayers will always be there.
Love you very much.
Love,
Hairunnisa Firdaus.
